Giving up

There are people who know me as a photographer. I still receive messages regarding how is my photography going on.
I am bless that I took some photos that were meaningful, won an award, publish on magazine including NGC magazine’s ‘Your Shot’ section. Worked with UK company for product shoots. All dream come true.
I am collecting courage to close it all down. I am emotional as well, I did some good job but good is not great. One can’t be great until you spend time on it. And I am not spending time on it. I feel this way, even after I recenly published a photobook.
While writing this, deep down I feel I don’t want to give up.... I don’t have to. Who cares anything what I am up to with my life. Who care what and how it impacts me and around. So why give up?
I often talk to myself “Before I give up, let me fight it. Let me try my 100% and then I am done with this” This philosophy worked for me few times, and I won’t be surprised if it do wonders this time.
Hell yea! I need to sort out what I want to do, if I need to get a smaller camera to get into street photography... Who is stopping me ? Will buy on installments and get my shit done. I am not dying without doing my part to photography
- 02:05 AM, 03 April, 2021