It’s been more than a month since I have been writing a diary daily. At first, I was unable to see the difference. But one night, when my mind was jumping from one thought to another, it started to give me anxiety. So, I picked up my iPad and started writing. After, I dumped all my thoughts. I was a bit relaxed and eventually I fell asleep.
[2:22 AM] My brain constantly keep thinking about multiple things from one topic to another. I sometimes, perhaps most of the time belief that is why men consume alcohol. To num it. To num the pain is one thing to num the constant thinking is another.
Even before I had a laptop of my own. I dreamed of typing something. It’s like a calling. And God knows how many times I sat and did nothing because of my belief that I can’t write. It is this belief that is a force behind my procrastination. The books I wanted to publish and that one and the other one. Because, it is the fundamental knowledge of the language I lack. It is not like I can’t write; it is clear that I can’t write well.